Eli and I went to the zoo today. We’ve gone a couple of times before, but this was the first time we’ve been since he started walking. The weather was pretty warm today – mid-50’s! – so I figured it would be a great day to go. Of course it being warm also meant snow melting, which leads to mud. Everywhere. Once I saw this, I was a little worried about Eli getting super dirty. But then I remembered that there were animals there so that would definitely keep Eli’s attention.
We went through the monkey house first. I thought Eli would really love it but I think it was hard for him to see them with the glare of the sun on the glass and the cages being significantly above Eli’s eye-level. He did get a kick out of the lizards and the snakes, naturally, and they were right were he could see them. Eli kept saying, “KKKKKKKKKK!” at the snakes since he can’t figure out how to say “Sssssss.”
After the monkey house we headed outside to see the rhinos. I picked up a new animal book for Eli this past week that has a rhino in it and that is one of the images he has latched onto. So as soon as we got to where he could see the rhinos, Eli said “ah-no!” I was pretty impressed. He told me he wanted to get down so I set him down and he walked right over to the fence, standing just barely on non-muddy ground. Good job, Eli! Then one rhino started yelling at the other rhino and Eli got freaked out so we moved on.
Next up were the wolves. Eli kept woofing at them and saying, “Dog! Dog!” I read him the sign about how wolves howl and explained that they weren’t actually dogs, but he did not pay attention. Because he was too busy heading for the massive slop extravaganza that was the area in front of the tiger exhibit.
I turned around to see this about to happen, and said, “Eli, look at the tiger!” I figured that would distract him and I’d get a super cute picture of him pointing at the tiger. Nope. Instead I got a super cute picture of him trying to hurdle the dirty snowpile, just before he slipped on it and basically sat in mud. Naturally I had left the diaper bag in the car because, after all, we were just going to be at the zoo for a little bit. (All parents reading this are thinking, “Noooo! Never leave the diaper bag in the car!”) I had brought along a brand new package of Boogie Wipes – a fabulous invention – because Eli either has a terrible cold or terrible allergies and has turned into a snot fountain. So I used a few Boogie Wipes to clean off the mud as best I could while Eli is squirming all over the place and rotating between saying “All done,” “Down!” and woofing at the wolves. I just kept thinking that I had literally taken the clothes he was wearing out of the dryer this morning and put them on him. It was almost enough to convince me to just stop doing laundry altogether.
So now Eli is muddy and wet and grumpy because he’s muddy and wet. He’s getting too tired to walk but he is too dirty for me to carry. And I left the stroller in the car because Eli was going to walk and it was going to be FUN! (“Noooo! Never leave the stroller in the car!”) I finally decided that I’d just carry him in front of me rather than on my hip and maybe then I wouldn’t get so muddy. Not yet anyhow. (Oops! Spoiler alert!) Next up: the lions!
I say, “Eli! Look at the lions!” and turn around to find him laughing hysterically while picking up a ball of ice.
Then he scampered off to jump in some mud puddles while carrying said ice ball. I was glad that a) there was no one around for him to throw the ice ball at and b) he doesn’t know how to click his heels yet because he totally was in the mood to do it.
He’s saying, “Mama! There is ice here! And snow! And water! And mud! I LOVE THIS PLACE!” And meanwhile I am saying, “ELI! LOOK AT THE LIONS! I DID NOT PAY $9 FOR YOU TO PLAY IN THE MUD! WE HAVE MUD AT OUR HOUSE! ALSO SNOW! LOOK. AT. THE. LIONS.“
But alas, he did not. Instead, he sat down in a puddle and started kicking his feet joyfully. I thought to myself, “Okay, lions are out. What else is down here? Baboons! He’ll like those!” So off we went to look at the baboons walk past the baboons and kick a snowdrift. Alright, let’s try the elephants. They’re awesome!
I finally convinced him to look at an animal for a minute, although he probably just wanted to stand on top of the tiny snowbank and thought the elephant standing there was a nice added benefit.
That only lasted a second before he was off and running again, though.
Now I told him that there were two elephants there, and he went to look. He watched them for a minute, showing off his muddy bum and soaking pants, and then noticed a mud hole conveniently located where he could see the elephants. So off he went.
And he hopped up onto the surrounding snowbank like a little penguin, and then slid down it also like a little penguin, ending up on his knees with his face in the mud. There I am taking pictures of this whole thing instead of, I don’t know, actually doing something like appropriately supervising my child. But by this point I had realized that I was doing another load of laundry when I got home whether I liked it or not, so I might as well like it since Eli certainly was.
He hopped back out of his watering hole and tottered off laughing. I managed to wipe off his face and hands before he just sat down (in a puddle, naturally) and started crying. So I had to pick him up and carry him back to the car. And – of course – the zoo is a long line with the parking lot at one end and – of course – the elephants at the other. Eli vacillated between wanting me to hold him and then saying he wanted down; I’d put him down and he’d just sit down and cry. Which, to me, says NAPTIME.
We made it to the car and I thanked the me of the past for leaving Eli’s long-john pajamas on underneath his pants, because I stripped him down in the parking lot so his car seat wouldn’t get muddy. (P.S. Also, past me, good job on buying a car seat with a brown seat cover! GENIUS!) He cried because he didn’t have his Sheriff Duck. I got him his Sheriff Duck. He threw it across the car and then cried because he didn’t have his Sheriff Duck. Then he started saying, “Apple apple apple cracker cracker apple cracker,” which means “If you don’t feed me within the next fifteen seconds I may die of starvation,” while sobbing and signing “please.” And I had taken the snacks out of the diaper bag because we weren’t going to be gone that long. (“Noooo! Never leave the snacks at home!”) And the person in front of me was driving impossibly slow.
This meant I had only one option: The Civil Wars.
I put on “Poison and Wine” on repeat and Eli stopped crying, smiled, giggled for a minute, and then settled in to happily ride the rest of the way home. Magic, I tell you.
A whole day full of magic.